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The Worst Of Both Worlds/Transcript
Abridged Episode #32 Watch ← Previous Episode → Next Episode Cast (in order of appearance): Yugi Muto, Jean-Luc Picard, Worf, Geordi La Forge, William Riker, Wesley Crusher, Marik Ishtar, Odion Ishtar, Strings, Yami Yugi, Yami Bakura, Ishizu Ishtar, Tristan Taylor, Joey Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Date: December 31, 2008 Running Time: 8:53 Episode Title: The Worst of Both Worlds Transcript The episode starts with a parody of a Star Trek scene. YUGI: Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh!... JEAN-LUC PICARD (with Yami's voice): Mr. Worf, dispatch a sub-space message to Admiral Handsome. We have engaged... the Borg. EGYPTIAN PHASER BEAMS! [edit needed] (with Tea's voice): All you know is how to play it safe. If you can't make the big decisions, commander, then I suggest you make room for someone who can. WORF (with Kemo's voice): Wee! Ow, my hair! JEAN-LUC PICARD: Hey, what the... ah... aw... oh God... GEORDI LA FORGE (with Serenity's voice): If we can generate a concentrated burst of power, that same frequency distribution... WILLIAM RIKER (with Joey's voice): How do we do that? WESLEY CRUSHER (with Tristan's voice): The main deflector dish! JEAN-LUC PICARD: I am Locutus of Borg. From this time forward, you will service... us. WILLIAM RIKER: Mr. Worf, fire! YUGI: And now the conclusion... Intro Sequence (on Marik's ship) MARIK (singing, Gilligan's Island theme plays in background): Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip! ODION: Master Marik, we should be arriving in Domino City in approximately 4 episodes. MARIK: Excellent! That gives us enough time for at least one children's card game! By the way, from now on I want you to call me The Skipper. And you, you can be Gilligan! ODION: As you wish, Master Marik. MARIK: Excellent! Now to awaken the newest addition to the family Steve! (Battle City streets) Some bystanders look at the motionless Strings. FEMALE BYSTANDER: Dude! street artist is a genius MALE BYSTANDER: Dude! concur! MARIK (telepathically to Strings): Rise and shine my little mind puppet! (Strings jumps and runs away.) MALE BYSTANDER: Dude! Dude! Yugi and Yami's spirit stand by a river in Battle City. YUGI: I only just realised, pharaoh, but you haven't got a raflection. Is there something you're not telling me? YAMI: Yugi, I'm an ancient spirit living inside your body. Of course I don't ha... YUGI: Don't lie to me! You're a vampire, aren't you? YAMI: It's the middle of the day. YUGI: Well that proves nothing... YAMI: I never should have let you read Twilight. MARIK (through Strings): We meet once again for the first time, pharaoh! YUGI: Marik, you coward! Why do you keep using innocent bystanders as pawns in your deadly game? MARIK: Innocent? Are you kidding me? Have you seen this guy? He's got piercings all over his body. You've got to be pretty EFF!ed up to agree to something like that! YUGI: He's still a human being! MARIK: He's also a mime. YUGI: Oh, in that case, yeah, I'll kick his ass! YUGI and YAMI: Wonder twin powers activate! Form of... an Egyptian homosexual! YAMI: Now Marik, I shall take control of Yugi's body to defeat you in a children's card game! MARIK: Oh, right, because when I'' take control of somebody to make them play a card game that's pure evil, but when ''you do it it's like your Mother friggin' Teresa! YAMI: Geez, this guy's nothing but a whiny teenager with magical powers, he's Harry Potter that's who he is. YUGI: Well, why don't you just suck blood from his neck, Nosferatu! Yami Bakura is standing outside Domino Museum YAMI BAKURA: Interesting, my gaydar has led me to this museum. I hope it's not another false alarm, the last time this happened it was at a Kevin Spacey autograph signing, and everybody knows he's as straight as a die. I like that word, die. Inside the museum, in front of the memory stone ISHIZU: Oh mighty giant rock, sometimes I think you are the only one who truly understands me. What's this?(shot of Yami Bakura) I sense an evil presence approaching. Well I wouldn't want to get involved with the plot, so I guess I'll just go hide. YAMI BAKURA: Such a powerful source of gay energy, and it's mine for the taking!(Ring goes limp) Oh blast, I knew I should have recharged the batteries before I left the house this morning. (Yami Bakura walks towards the giant rock) Ahh, this is no ordinary giant rock. It's also a giant plot device. And very soon, I shall use it to destroy the Pharaoh and everything he holds dear. Give or take a few hundred episodes. MARIK: You call yourself a Pharaoh but you don't even know how to use your power. That's why destiny has chosen me to take it from you. YAMI: What power are you talking about? MARIK: Foolish fool!! I'm talking about the power to look good in leather. YAMI: That power belongs to me, and me alone! And maybe 'N Sync, but mostly to me. And I won't let you take it without a fight. MARIK: We'll see how strong you are when you're trapped inside my Nightmare Steel Cage. (Cage forms around Yami) YAMI: (''grunts) Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage. MARIK: (dramatic music plays) And now, I summon the Egyptian God card. Slifer the Executive Producer. YAMI: Holy mumra. Look at the size of that thing. It makes Kaiba's ego look positively minuscule. MARIK: (laughs evilly) Cower in fear, Pharaoh. Because Slifer is going to executive produce the crap out of you! "Cut to Joey, Tristan, Tea and Grandpa" TRISTAN: Joey, what's the matter with you? You haven't played a card game in one whole episode. You gotta get back in the game, man! JOEY: No, from now on I only duel minor characters from Season One. That's how I roll. TRISTAN: But Joey! JOEY: That is how I roll, Tristan! "Kaiba and Mokuba enter" KAIBA: What the hell is going on here? I specifically requested that Joey Wheeler be banned from my tournament! Somebody must have up big time. JOEY:Hey Kaiba! You're a minor character from Season One! How about a duel? KAIBA: There wasn't a single word you just said that didn't make me want to kill you. "Kaiba's helicopter descends" PILOT: Mr. Kaiba! Our scanners have detected that an Egyptian God Card has been summoned somewhere in the city! If you climb on board we'll take you to the signal's location! KAIBA: And now I have a boner. MARIK: You're finished, Pharaoh. For every card I have in my hand, Slifer's attack power increases. And with my [[Revival Jam] in play, you can't hope to touch my life points. Now I play the Card of Safe Return which allows me to draw three more cards every time my Revival Jam is sent to the graveyard. It's your move, Yugi. (laughs evilly) YAMI: You know something, Marik? Dueling you is like playing on the Nintendo Wii. It got boring after about 5 minutes. MARIK: Silence! Soon, you will be crushed, and people all over the place will marvel at my leather-clad tushie. YAMI: (kneeled down) He's right. How can I hope to defeat an Egyptian god card? KAIBA: Quit your sniveling, Yugi. (Yami looks up at Kaiba) Just because this guy has an Egyptian god card, that doesn't mean he's going to win. You and I both know that there's more to card games than having the most powerful monsters. A true duelist doesn't rely on his cards alone. If you want to win this match, you're going to have to take a page out of my book and screw the rules. YAMI: He's right, and I know just how to do it. (stands up) I'll use Brain Control to take control of his Revival Jam. Now, every time Slifer destroys my Revival Jam monster, he'll be forced to draw three new cards. And when Revival Jam returns to the field, Slifer's special ability means it has to attack any new monster that appears, starting the whole process over again. This will continue until he no longer has any cards left in his deck, rendering me the winner by default. incomplete Category:Abridged Transcripts